stale experience

only thing i remember today was prefects investiture... somehow, i felt proud of my prefects for once. and i thought i always remembered labelling them as corrupted. but it felt like a grand occasion today. i've attended previous investitures and its different. the feel, the atmosphere all.. should i have been a prefect? neh, i doubt so. i'll just be another dog of the school i guess. and the prefects are typical barker stalkers la... 4 of them stoning outside the girls toilet waiting for the girl prefects from the other schools. so wrong.

i remember sleeping and zonging out too. on the bus, on my bed. i almost missed my bus stop two days in a row. had a nice dinner, cooked by my dad, though i did not ahve much appetide, not sure why.. maybe its all the junk food i ate during lunch..

i did my chem papers :) well, some anyway, i'll do more tmr, and amath too! i sound so enthusiastic? actually, i'm feeling quite lethargic, but i'll still do anyways. i lost to arunan for the chem test :( if he's stupid alr then what does that make me?

i guess i should learn and study WITHOUT the com till prelims... perhaps i can study more, so i'll try, over the weekend, when its the hardest.. no com, full mugging. i'll miss the com though :( and all the songs..

i have a strong feeling something bad happened, but i'm not quite sure what.. i hope it isnt anyways.

i want to feel happy again!
i miss Nadine

i'm sleeping now

nick.

prisoned from prison break

OMG! i just realised i missed 2 episodes of prison break alr!! ahhh... sooo not fair :( not enough time to watch tv anymore!

my head's in a blank state now. feeling empty if u knock it... its games day and played chess, came in 5th house... seriously, TCT needs more better sports players. i'm just very sleepy and lethargic. i want to study, must try to perservere... havent seen some ppl online for quite some time, i wonder if something happened that i was unaware of. ahh, i have no energy to go and find that now anyways, let time reveal everything as usual.

nick.

My All -sigh

I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you
Then my heart just won't let me be right
'Cause I'm drowned in you
And I won't pull through
Without you by my side

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight

Baby can you feel me
Imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mindand that you're so far
Like a distant star
I'm wishing on tonight

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine'cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight
Give my all for your love
Tonight

flash backs

headache headache headache...

its all comming back again. after 1 month, its giving me hell again. my head hurts in excruciating pain now. i don't want it to come back! not now. so many things to remind me of the past, disgrace and embarrasment. its just not fair! please go away please please please. the pain i mean, not the feelings. i can't forget no matter how hard i try. and i did try. you come back in my dreams, how can i escape form that? i still must keep my promise and survive on my own. i just wish you were here to support me. or someone.

help! :(

dreams

Back to normal school...

realised how smart i was in chemistry class, i dunno so many questions, so embarrasing, so demoralising. even though i might have beaten arunan for that paper, the feeling still sucks.

there was a time with nads around to comfort me and keep on encouraging me. having faith that i could do better. but i'm stupid.

had chinese listening compre today, didnt listen much, kinda cheated this national exam... more reasons for ppl to look down on me and shake their heads. the only listening i did pay attention to was the pirates 3 soundtrack david lent me! i like it alot though the pirates 1 soundtrack seem nicer. but i still love it.

i had to do a narrative essay on 'the unexpected visitor'. my inspiration came from my dream last night, as i was sleeping, hallucinating.. dreaming. it was a plot of a sort of real life based event, twisted here and there to make it more dramatic. i wonder if i wrote a story for nads, what she would react. the setting was in her house, i could visualise everything, and i was the unexpected visitor... if only things turned out the way the story ended. its sad, but sweet.

sigh, i dream too much

to sum up everything, i slept, ate and did abit of work.

goodnight.

Humdrum :(

Hey you're too true to be good
And I'm too bad to pretend
Transparent and transfixed, I'm uncool

Heart beat you're looking at me
Must stop I'm letting you see
This isn't how I want to be

I have visions like no other
So romantic you'll discover

I wanna take you for granted
Drift while you're talking
Bathe while you're downstairs
And chat on the phone

Fall asleep before bedtime
Pass in the hallway
Forget your birthday
And shrink all your clothes

(I wanna)

This is every girl's dream
No milk left for your tea
Baby's crying louder than me
Who lost the keys of your car
Sorry that would be me
I'd wake up only I'm not asleep

I have daydreams of another
So romantic you'll discover

I wanna take you for granted
Drift while you're talking
Bathe while you're downstairs
And chat on the phone

Fall asleep before bedtime
Pass in the hallway
Forget your birthday
And shrink all your clothes

(I wanna)
(I wanna)

I have visions like no other
So romantic you'll discover

I wanna take you for granted
Drift while you're talking
Bathe while you're downstairs
And chat on the phone

Fall asleep before bedtime
Pass in the hallway
Forget your birthday
And shrink all your clothes

Let me take you for granted
Drift while you're talking
Bathe while you're downstairs
And chat on the phone

Fall asleep before bedtime
Pass in the hallway
Forget your birthday
And shrink all your clothes

(I wanna)
(I wanna)

Did I say that out loud?

OMG!

i didnt know i looked so pretty! :D


wha, look like lucy liu sia...
hah

my ex best friend's birthday today... still remember a friendship card he wrote to me 10 years ago, i'm giving him a birthday letter this year...

nick.

finale

friday 13th... a day feared by many.

ironically, things went pretty opposite of what people might have believed, on my side. i'm really really tired today, cos i barely had enough sleep, but everything turned out fine in sch, except that i lost a tie...

we had a career forum to give us career advices, most of them are engineers btw.. i want to be a pilot! unfortunately SIA has a minimum height requirement of 1.65... and i think i'm 1.64! :( i asked them for advice on what whld i do abt it.. it is a forum after all yea? this guy said that the SAF were short of fighter pilots, and adviced me to fly cargo planes for the air force for 7 years before i apply to be a commercial pilot for SIA! serious thinking i need...

the rest of the afternoon was done preparing for tonight's show.. it was quite a happening thing trying to find blazer, black shoes and tie... all which i half mindedly didnt have. i needed them to represent barker road collect certs for syf. we broke into prefects room thru those small windows u have on the top end next to the wall to 'borrow' a blazer.. hehe, we all make good theives, except that we left plenty of fingerprints arnd too... must say i look handsome sia, haha.. kiddin.

syf play rocked the world today man! it really felt like the best ever la... the audience were good, they liked our paly so much and prefered it over to the other 4 plays including the gold with honours play!! we should have gotten the honours.. had wonderful supporters, my classmates min yang, ian yang and nigel... acjc buddies ben, candice and their friend.. and ethel and her friend too!! i got a flower frm ben and company, aww so touching :)

then we went back to barker and decided on the new committee for drama. yes, i'm stepping down frm drama@acs officially alr. how sad.. i'll really miss it all. i'm both sad and happy at the same time though. dunno why, cant explain. just a feeling, but i really will miss drama dearly. those lovely juniors made me feel like a star for once by getting me to autograph on their programme booklet. my last time acting, ending off with such a kick.. i would have wanted nads to be there though, through all the excitement, to share the joy and pride..my wonderful experiences.. not the exact right thing to do now anyways, or to even think of it. sigh

met ethel and her friend later at 6th avenue some ice cream shop i forgot the name.. ahh, good comments made me feel high again :) who ever said friday the 13th was bad? this is prolly the best fri 13 i've gotten. praise the lord!!

i really like to thank all the people who have supported me and helped me in every way for today and for drama! i appreciate you guys!!

Opening of 'Ernie's'

Crazy clinic!
Football king!

Superman!

Baby Nadine and mummy Estelle :)

Irvin and Nigel

Irvin and Brian Sum

CO members

SYF main cast

back home stuffing my mouth with hor fun now.. hungry but no appeitite.

tired tired tired.

-yawns!-

nick.

fired

i just fired my chemistry tuition teacher... i feel so bad, but i really think that he cant teach. maybe my standards are really too high? i dunno. half of me wants to fire him, hte other half reasoned maybe i'm asking for too much. but i did in the end anyway. i'll bury it together with all the other bad experiences i've had now.

missed quite alot of lessons today cos we had to go hwa chong institution to do tech run for tmr's performance. i felt a revolutionary transform in ambience and time there as a took each step further into the primitive looking building like chinese temple. time of the stoneage.. ooh, those sad fellas need to come to barker to see what the word 'modern' is.. heh

had an unhealthy lunch at serene macs.. my mouth still feels of oily french fries... hope i dun get a sore throat tmr. :( then i crahsed in acjc to pass some tics to ben and get abck the $$ he owes me! i got a nice tour arnd acjc too.. my future sch! :D and i took a sneak peak into a math lecture in prog. OMG! if i thought ss classes were BORING, that was worse man. i dun like jc life :(

oh, and i bumped into mummy estelle too and we talked and caught up, after like dunno how long.. only thing that hasent changed abt her is her creativity in tieing her hair with such uniqueness comparable to a toilet brush.. hehe, quite an interesting one this girl is...

was so tired when i came back i slept and zonged out 2 hours straight before dinner. so tired! and guess what? i havent done any work today again! :D how reassuring. prelims starts 0913! one more month :( sighh

:O its getting so late alr.. i hope i have a good performance tmr!

nick.

bedtime class

pretty long and tiring day today. triple emaths was a bedtime class for me. i literally slept thru the entire mock paper. i had 26/80 for it in the end. hehe, what a wonderful A student i am. long days with dots... had some destressing chat after sch with arunan, tims, and few other drama friends gossiping abt each other's personal emotion-love life. i think nth beats my experience la. wonderful memories...

i met ethel opposite serene centre to pass her tics for this fri's syf concert. we talked for quite abit at this ice-cream shop that isnt island creamry. its funny how sch rules actually affect ur personal life outside.. -You cannot meet a friend or a sibling of the opposite sex outside sch with sch uniform on?- so stupid.. i think.

me planned to do amath and lit today. i'm a failure as i still havent done :( so tired alr! but must perservere.. a little lit at least.till 11, then i'll go.

i waaant the weeekend to comeeeeee!

nick.

subtle smell

i met nads again this evening, after quite some time. some catching up i guess. despite all the tensions, it was still enjoyable in the cool evening breeze, and the fragrance blowing by me. i won't be seeing her for some months now. our meeting ended off with a sealed hug. i'm thankful she gave it. not right for me to say this, but i love you nads. :)

so tiring now.. i'm supposed to do bio or amath. guess thats what i'll try to do now. chem test seemed easy enough. i'm anxious to know if i managed to stay on top of the challange against arunan. haha, no big competition, but its kinda fun and friendly. dosent matter who gets top, at least i tried to study, i guess.

touched on ernie's incredible illucinations again. the play is really off, but trusting the standards of barker ppl, i'm sure the show will be up ready by thurs. then no more acting for the rest of my life.. ahh. both happy and sad to think.

i want more sleeeep!
zzz...

nick.

just like any other ordinary day

some interesting websites to go to just to pass your time or if you really have nothing better to do...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63ak3zeX3bU&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35KCpHD_ax0
http://youtube.com/watch?v=DDMi1vAQVXg
hahaha, some humourous videos in japanese with english subtitles. don't be alarmed by the 'hard gay' title... its totally harmless, and i dun watch gays for goodness sake.

'The Core' is a really boring show.

Chem test on macromolecules tmr. i'm not prepared yet.
I'm tired. :(

I hallucinated alot today.. mostly in my afternoon nap, and i was a super hero. well, i wish i were. heh.

i'm studying! i'm studying! i'm trying to study... diva goddess arunan has motivated me to study, cos he wants to challange me in chem and amaths. after that, i suddenly had the inspiration to do my hmwk.. after 2 months of brain dead staring into space. thank you arunan! :D

ok, i'm really tired now.

tata.

I Still Believe

No, oh No.... Yeah, Yeah ... oh..

You look in my eyes and I get emotional inside
I know it’s crazy, but you still can touch my heart
And after all this time you think that I wouldn’t feel the same
But time melts into nothing, and nothing's changed

I still believe
Someday you and me
Will find ourselves
In love again

I had a dream
Someday you and me
Will find ourselves
In love again

Each day of my life, I’m filled with all the joy I could find
You know that I,I'm not the desperate type
If there’s one spark of hope left in my grasp, I'm holding it with both hands
It’s worth the risk of burning, to have a second chance

No, no, no, no, no, no, I need you, baby
I still believe that we can be together, no…
If we believe that true love never has to end
Then we must know that we will love again, Mmm..

I still believe
Someday you and me
Will find ourselves
In love again (Oh, baby, yeah)

I had a dream
You and me
Will find ourselves
In love again

I still believe (Ooh, baby, I do)
Someday you and me (Just give me one more try)
In love again

I had a dream (I miss your love)
Someday you and me
Will find ourselves
In love again

I still believe
Someday you and me(will find ourselves in love...)

Switched

Finally switched blogs... the previous one was too frustrating to handle. friendster blogs ARE laggy and limited in every way. this one seems to have more choice and freedom. so i'll stick to it.

today's live earth day. personally, i do not support it cos its super ironic, the concert would not curb global warming, the amount of rubbish and waste and energy and heat generated from the concert seems to ADD on to global warming. cancelling the concert would probably let the earth live a day longer. so stupid.

time to try to do some studying now.

nick.

pose, prose, compose

one week into school term already which means 5 weeks to prelims. not a very nice thought.. how fast the weeks go by. i'm losing track of all the things going by.

about a week and a half ago, we celebrated tims birthday. it was meant to be a surprise, but think my planning sucks so alot was leaked before he even arrived there.. it was a fun time, only ex thing was a $180 cake which i'm never gonna order again. we watched fantastic four which seemed pretty short and boring. surprising i never fell asleep. but, i dun think i wanna organise anymore birthday parties...

school reopening felt strange. i miss the hols cos i could sleep like a pig. but i enjoyed seeing classmates and laughing and so on. everything in school looked the same, but it didnt feel the same. i thought it would be different, or maybe its just my imagination.

lotsa carnival prep work. stayed out late to buy utensils and materials for my class fine dining french restaurant. if u missed it, too bad you didnt have a chance to boss me around while i was waitering. the whole carnival day was hectic. working nonstop running my ass around frm 9-6. i didnt even eat lunch or have time to rest. the only food i ate was a pinch aglio olio and part of beef steak i stole from the frying pan.. hehe. what a nice way to sample a $100 meal. being a waiter also meant that i had access to the good stuff like wine they served in fine dining. i was hungry k, so anything that was edible was attractive. i helped myself to the wine in the back room and had my own little happy hour with the others. the white wine tasted better though. then we tried to make our own mocktails by mixing wine with milk and coffee and all sorts of drinks. it was funny seeing classmates drunk. very very funny. i havent seen a real drunk person before, but i could not stop laughing when he could not walk straight properly. i'm pretty sure i wasent drunk, i think. stayed up till quite late to help out with cleaning up and all. i got body aches and a dizzy mind after all that.need a looong long break and good rest.

being dizzy felt stress free for quite awhile.. i think i like it. :D

maybe i should try again another day.

nick.